Recovery & Reflection Series – July 2025

There has been some radio silence from me these last few months.

I had hoped to stay more connected with My Community, but the truth is I didn’t have the emotional energy.

After my Mom’s sudden passing, planning her memorial, coordinating with family out of town, and in the middle of all that came with being her executor, I found myself drained — not just of time, but of the strength to reach out and be present.

In those early weeks, a friend created a small accountability group with me. Every day, the simple questions were: “Have you eaten? Have you had water today?” 

At the time, the shock and pain of losing Mom was so consuming that even hunger pains were unnoticed. My emotional energy was non-existent. My mind had no bandwidth to think, plan, or create anything that didn’t directly involve my Mom or the responsibilities of her estate. The mental recall was also non-existent. My husband, my sister and I would be talking and get off track mid sentence and have no idea what we were attempting to say.

From that period of July, I’ve been living inside deep sorrow, missing my mother’s presence in everything I do. The loneliness has been sharp. Even in daily tasks at home, waves of grief would rise and fall as I tried to keep moving forward. An example of this that still is amazing to me; I was putting away the dishes and it took me an hour and a half to finish.

My Hopeful Intentions:

But from this time, I’ve carried one focus forward: not regret, but intention.

There are things I wish I had done with Mom, yes. But rather than let those become regrets, I’ve chosen to use them as reminders. All the things I wish I could have done with her — I will make sure to do with the family and friends I have right now.

And when the loneliness grows heavy, I will invite a friend over. When I feel safe enough to drive, I will go and spend time with them. This is how I am learning to move through grief: by choosing connection where I can, and by letting love flow forward into My Community.

Additionally, I will carry all the traits I loved about my Mom and my Dad through how I live.

It is a heartbreaking realization to not have either of my parents to talk to anymore.

The next step is:

I will let myself feel the sadness that comes, when it comes, and be an open book about my current feelings - I am human.