Recovery & Reflection Series – August 2025

This month has been both heavy and freeing — a combination I don’t fully understand. I’m used to carrying a heavy load, seeing many people, and accomplishing countless things in a day. But now I’m realizing what trauma does to the brain’s ability to plan ahead.

At the moment, I can schedule my days one quarter at a time. I move through each set of hours with breaks in between, but ask me what I’ll do tomorrow? I couldn’t tell you. I have to reach the night before just to begin thinking about it.

Even in this fog, I’ve managed to regulate my eating and drinking habits, and I haven’t gone too overboard with coffee — except for one day where I had only coffee, and that was a mistake I won’t repeat.

I’ve been working toward establishing morning and evening routines to help me regain a sense of grounding. Productivity, as I once knew it, has taken a hit. For the first time in as long as I can remember, my level of disinterest is profound.

There was a morning where I observed myself almost from outside: I woke up exhausted, but not interested in going back to sleep. When I asked, “What should I do now?” nothing came to mind. No interest in scrolling, no interest in reading, TV, or even rest. I simply sat for three hours in one place, thinking of nothing and everything at the same time — feeling, simply, blah.

Still, I’ve begun weaving in some small, steady practices:

• Morning: Wake up, drink lemon water, 10 minutes of red-light therapy, 3 minutes on the rebounder, and then learning a few notes on the guitar.

• Evening: A routine I started strong but have since drifted from — something I’ll gently return to or make it again soon.

  
  

Hopeful Intentions:

Through all of this, my heart is settling on what truly matters. I love my family and close friends deeply, and I want to ensure I’m present for them. I want to create a beautiful garden around our home to honor the beauty my Mother brought into my life. I want to show up for Light the Way Ministries the way she did, as a supportive presence.

And most of all, I want to use the life God has given me to guide others — helping those who seek to live with less pain and more vitality through simple, holistic fundamentals.

I no longer want to measure my life by busyness. Instead, I want to focus on the positive impact I can give each day.